Not realizing when it all started, my life began picking up in a fast forward motion.
Moments, readings, working, vacationing, it’s all seemed to be done in a hassle.
For a moment, I’m reading a really interesting book, 3 minutes later I thought to myself “why am I reading this? There’s tons of other books waiting for me out there in this library!”
Attention span is indeed getting shorter and shorter and it’s distracting more than ever to not being able to finish up something I’ve started.
I’m merely into my new role for less than 3 months and all I’ve realized myself doing was chasing deadlines everyday. Everything else seemed to be in a whirl. Then I thought to myself, why did I tie myself down when clearly the interest is to be an entrepreneur/business owner? I can never perform to my fullest under rigid constraints/conditions set by people. Since basketball days, I knew that joining the school team was a bad idea. Before, I loved the freedom of freestyle basketball, the freedom to play my own plays with people who could complement. Ever since school team, all I could play were sets that we practiced at every trainings. I could never get out of the conformity box. Or rather, it creates a boundary that I can’t bring myself to cross. Even till today, the shooting sessions I can, the competitive tournaments I avoid.
After much thinking, I had the answer – reality and stability. The 2 things that people fear most. In reality, people conform to rules and regulations so that things within an organization runs smoothly. And only then, would you have the financial and life stability that comes with the former. It’s a vicious cycle. But some people thrived in such cycles. Others like me, just felt suffocated, drained due to the lack of creativity within such systems. I felt the lack of ownership despite contributing to the job. It was as though life is directed and replayed over and over. However, I am really lucky and grateful to have mentors who looked after me well enough to not magnify my “fish-out-of-water” status. And under them, I learnt loads and fast.
As for the other side, don’t wish to talk nor divulge too much yet as things are still in the transition stage from planning to implementation. Learnt the lesson of being too quick on the tongue and it always didn’t end well. Just hope in the interim, things will work out and looking forward to contribute with new skills n capabilities. Hope to meet up soon with the different people who have helped made minor progress thus far.
For a while, I never got to sit myself down to pen this post. Instead did some scribbles in my doodle pad every now and then to record the moments, the ideas and I’m glad some are slowly unfolding.
Will need to slow things down a little and take a step back to reflect upon what I’ve done thus far and how to move things forward. There’s more reading to be done and aiming to pick up and master 2 new skills within the next 3-4 months.
All the best to me and similar people out there.
Be brave even when the odds are against you, for you will be the one standing to see the rainbow after the storm subsides.