Do What’s Best for Yourself, Not What’s Best for Everyone else

I am brimming with excitement!
Excited to carry out some wild ideas, excited to work with the new partners and staff.
Of course there are fears, but the excitement engulfs all.

I’ve made my choice and am thankful for friends and buddies who stood by my decision. I know I might have let some people down, but I just couldn’t let myself have any regrets. I know if I have made the other choice, I will always wonder “What if…”. I think after 2 years of hiding, it’s time to unleash myself for some exploration. I can never thank my supervisors enough for their guidance and mentorship. I’ve learnt loads in these two years and I got to know myself better too. I’ve found great buddies which are definitely gems-to-keep and very grateful that they stood by to give me moral support all these while.
It was really a tough choice and consulted everyone available in my social circle for advices. Eventually, all gave me the same answer “Babe, you need to follow your heart. Only then will you be able to sustain. Only then, will things work out for yourself.” And so I did. I hope by going down a different path from others, it will not affect any relationships. Because as much as I want happiness for others, I want happiness for myself too.

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I have always looked up to my uncle for being a great biz man. Always idolizes and wanted to be like him , even to the extent I wanted to pick up marine engineering under him. Unfortunately, he wanted a male to look after his business, hence I had to sought for other routes. Many others were similarly traditional and objected to my pursue for entrepreneurship which started 5 years ago. They termed me “abnormal”. And so I embarked on as an “on-and-off” biz owner, one to make others happy (cuz I am salaried with stable contributions), one to keep myself happy (where I can explore ideas and watch them grow). It became a draining process, and there were many-a-times I tried brainwashing myself that I am happy in an employed situation and should just give up biz altogether. But after a while, misery overtook. I became unhappy, full of complaints, dwelling in sorrows and it was hateful. I shut myself out from others partly cuz they wouldn’t fully understand my situation except for some close buddies and Jack understood my dilemma. But he too can’t make decisions for my life. Today, he laid out the options clearly and what he could offer, weighing both I made the choice.

The future brings hope, fears and excitement. By staying true to my heart and working hard, I hope this will fruit into something great.

Thanks Daphie, CueQQ, Didi and Bi for standing with me against all odds. Your support is deeply appreciated. I know there may be concerns, but for once, I need to face my deepest ambition truthfully and not run away from it anymore.

I will strive hard for this to actualize.

I will strive hard for this to actualize.

With love,
Ylingz

Life’s choices

Life is like a multiple choice question. Sometimes the choices confuse you not the question itself.

Today my life presents me two choices. My heart and head each tells me differently. Initially I went for it due to expectations of people. Now I hold on to it also due to expectations of people. I really really pray hard I’m doing myself the right to go for it.

Going for it means I’ve gotta give up my passion. My passion for designing, my passion for entrepreneurship, my passion of running a business. No one knows, these are my energy generator. Everyone thought “She’s just helping her bf…blablabla.” I love talking and discussing new business ideas with my boy, I love coming up with marketing strategies and put them in place. But now, it seems now I have to give it all up. For a salaried job. I know there’s stability, etc,etc. But I know I will be very drained. So drained to the extend where I won’t even bother to react anymore. Layers of approvals, so many red tapes… I just hope I won’t drown in the system. I give myself 3 months.

Since young, I’m never someone who performs well in an orderly system. Take basketball for example. Before school team, I was a great freestyle player whom many acknowledges. Since school team, I have forgotted how to play proper anymore other than the training sets. Till today, despite still loving bball, I reduced the frequency and turned my attention towards other sports like swimming and cycling instead.

 

I pray for the best. For with this choice, I will miss what I love. To live up to people’s expectations.

In misery.

Ylingz

Patience brings hope

Not realizing when it all started, my life began picking up in a fast forward motion.
Moments, readings, working, vacationing, it’s all seemed to be done in a hassle.
For a moment, I’m reading a really interesting book, 3 minutes later I thought to myself “why am I reading this? There’s tons of other books waiting for me out there in this library!”
Attention span is indeed getting shorter and shorter and it’s distracting more than ever to not being able to finish up something I’ve started.
I’m merely into my new role for less than 3 months and all I’ve realized myself doing was chasing deadlines everyday. Everything else seemed to be in a whirl. Then I thought to myself, why did I tie myself down when clearly the interest is to be an entrepreneur/business owner? I can never perform to my fullest under rigid constraints/conditions set by people. Since basketball days, I knew that joining the school team was a bad idea. Before, I loved the freedom of freestyle basketball, the freedom to play my own plays with people who could complement. Ever since school team, all I could play were sets that we practiced at every trainings. I could never get out of the conformity box. Or rather, it creates a boundary that I can’t bring myself to cross. Even till today, the shooting sessions I can, the competitive tournaments I avoid.

After much thinking, I had the answer – reality and stability. The 2 things that people fear most. In reality, people conform to rules and regulations so that things within an organization runs smoothly. And only then, would you have the financial and life stability that comes with the former. It’s a vicious cycle. But some people thrived in such cycles. Others like me, just felt suffocated, drained due to the lack of creativity within such systems. I felt the lack of ownership despite contributing to the job. It was as though life is directed and replayed over and over. However, I am really lucky and grateful to have mentors who looked after me well enough to not magnify my “fish-out-of-water” status. And under them, I learnt loads and fast.

As for the other side, don’t wish to talk nor divulge too much yet as things are still in the transition stage from planning to implementation. Learnt the lesson of being too quick on the tongue and it always didn’t end well. Just hope in the interim, things will work out and looking forward to contribute with new skills n capabilities. Hope to meet up soon with the different people who have helped made minor progress thus far.

For a while, I never got to sit myself down to pen this post. Instead did some scribbles in my doodle pad every now and then to record the moments, the ideas and I’m glad some are slowly unfolding.

Will need to slow things down a little and take a step back to reflect upon what I’ve done thus far and how to move things forward. There’s more reading to be done and aiming to pick up and master 2 new skills within the next 3-4 months.
All the best to me and similar people out there.
Be brave even when the odds are against you, for you will be the one standing to see the rainbow after the storm subsides.

Love,
Ylingz

A reason to celebrate

I’ve been looking forward to any reason of sorts to let my hair down, celebrate and party all night long.

And finally we did it!
Had the chance to co-coordinate an Indian customary wedding for my two awesome friends Julian and Basanti!
Though it’s not exactly party all night long but at least for some parts where i can grab a breather or two, it’s a little shaking and “put your hands up in the air yo!” moment. :p

It was a lovely day for the wedding, the sky was clear, the venue was beautifully decorated, people were colourfully dresses in their best saris, suits, dresses and all.

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The most memorable part for me was the walk in with the stunningly beautiful bride Basanti. Never did i expect myself to be in such position, joining in the dhol dancers, walking her in with so many people cheering on and giving heartfelt blessings to the bride as she paced and danced along with the rhythm of the drums.
They are the most kind-hearted, truest and coolest couple ever! It’s an honour to help them prepare and plan for such an important occasion. Of cuz many people had a part to play in making this wedding ceremony a success. First of all, Dholman-Bas bro and her sis who have been so enthusiastic, sporting and extremely meticulous about the details of the wedding. Not forgetting her bro being a spontaneous emcee for the night!
Second, to Kimmy, Ross, Lulu, and Barry who have been running around ensuring missing things are found, bride nd groom well taken care of and ushering the guests and keeping them entertained, ensuring the level of hypeness remained.

Of course to the supportive family, relatives and friends of the couple who made this amazing night possible.

To Curry Garden and the various vendors whom services were rendered for providing good food and great services at the wedding venue.

Last but not least, to the blessed couple for entrusting this opportunity for me and bi to assist and run the show for them.

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My very first henna!

Having known them for a few yrs, they are by far the most fun n nicest couple I’ve known. :) And finally! im glad to be able to witness their customary wedding ritual!
It’s been a tiring but fun night with great food, awesome music and hellofva fun people who attended the most unique wedding held at a horse ranch! I wish mine would be half as great haha.

Last but not least i would like to wish them a happy marriage and that they will stay as loving and young as ever!

Lotsa love,
Ylingz

Halfway Mark

It’s finally the halfway mark to the end of 2014!! How time flies.

If it were school days, I would be considered a mugger now. haha. Conscientiously updating my inbox and finishing up what’s new/undone/piling. But. I’m still loving it. :)

Something random popped up in my head and I started grinning to myself at a joke a good friend told me recently, something about vanilla, yinila, ernila…   life should be like this, enjoy the fun moments and reminiscing.

June is finally here, a hectic month with Bi’s birthday coming up. Planning something but so not gonna reveal it here as he is the ultimate stalker of my blog. :p

kays, this gonna be short because I’m extremely burnt out from the late nights recent weeks. i’m still owing the updates on my Perth trip..MUST.WORK.ON.IT.soon.

Cheerios with loves,

Ylingz

过去是现今的能量

人的本性是善的。但往往随着环境而演变。
这两年多以来,我也试着学习怎么相信身边的人。认识了一两个知心好友。这已足够把我的世界精彩化,充实了人生。
当然我也试着不去猜测,不去幻想他人的目的所在。久了,也就能看出谁是真心的,谁是不怀好意的。只要做得正,没有什么好怕的。

我的过去,是让我变坚强的能量。我的故事,如果能帮助朋友脱离苦海,我会尽全力帮助。
要怀疑我, 就离我远远的,因为我也不稀罕这种友谊及感情。之前就因为,为了面对这些心存恶念的人,把自己弄得片体鳞伤,之后又得从头爬起。现在的我,看开多了。小人到处都是,只要做得正,才是小人害怕的原因。我想也就是这一点,是让她不断地堤防我的理由吧。
反正现在也不会有机会碰面。我也轻松多了,否则也会像她一样带着面具对人,累死了。要我踩在别人头上往上爬,我做不到。要嘛就凭实力而且我并不缺。在什么环境都能适应,是我的强项,因为这才是生存者。

欣慰的是,身边都有关心我的人。真心假意我并不介意,因为我始终还是存在某人们的念头里。
脸书也少po照照了。因为有心的人都会知到我的进展与近况,其他人只不过是为了八卦罢了。

谢谢好友们与宝贝能试着了解,接受我的过去而不嫌弃。是你们,我才能往前走。
今天的我,不会去理会别人怎么看我。而且我的使命是 "如果你需要我,我就会存在。直到有一天你不需要我了,我会默默地消失在你的视线范围内。"我不需要别人对我好,我只需要对得起自己的良心,就足够了。

-玲子-

Just a Random Everyday Post – 26 May 2014

Life’s been pretty hectic since the new switch of career. But despite the busyness, I’ve been very much contented with everything else.

Did a wedding recce at Punggol Ranch for the beloved Julian & Bas as we (myself and Bi) are the coordinators. We pray for good weather and smooth sailing of the wedding day!! >.<

Helping out with Esther’s video too and many things to complete by tomorrow. Gonna be a looong day ahead.

Hope the vid can be exported soon so that i can go meet the bed.

Till another day for a more meaningful post! Toodles~

 

Lotsa Love,

Ylingz